What is one thing that you can give to someone else
that gives back more than you’ve given?
I’ve been rereading a book by R.T.Kendall called:
Sometimes you may need to revisit the subject of forgiveness
regarding the same person,
especially if there’s still an ongoing issue.
Forgiveness isn’t saying the hurt was acceptable.
Forgiveness isn’t saying you want to be buddies.
Forgiveness is giving up any right to pay the person back.
Total forgiveness is letting it go
and truly praying blessing over the one who may have hurt you.
And guess what happens when you do that?
Total joy. ❀
Praying for blessings
upon difficult people
Total Forgiveness Blessings ~ Wendy ❀
Bless those who persecute you;
bless and do not curse.
If you’re curious to see inside my writing room
or to view a short true story vlog about
a misadventure I had,
please click on my new page:
~ ❀ ~
Do you have a favorite quote or verse about forgiveness
that you’d like to share in the comments?
52 thoughts on “Total Forgiveness”
I’m learning about forgiveness Wendy. It used to be a word I knew the definition for but it’s coming more into focus. I love how you say “Forgiveness is giving up any right to pay the person back.” That makes so much sense to me! Thank you.
Thank you, Laura. That quote is my paraphrase of R.T.Kendal’s words. His writing really blesses me. I also listen to a CD I have of his. I’m always smiling by the time I get to the end of it–such freeing wisdom he has to offer. ❀
I will see if there is an audio file I can purchase. Thank you!
I got it and the book from Focus on the Family a few years ago. ❀
I just got it on Amazon Audible and free with some credits I had. 🙂 I’ll start it tonight.
Wonderful. Let me know what you think. ❀
Will do. 🙂
Forgiveness has been a key piece to my healing from the years of abuse and abandonment. I find it is something that does indeed revisiting, that it’s a process more than a one-time action. I like the parable of the unmerciful servant found in Matt.18: 21-35. Reminds me how much He has forgiven me and how much I should therefore extend it to others. Good thought-provoker today as I have only recently had to do some re-visiting. Thank you!
Marisa, what a perfect example in Scripture you’ve presented. We all fall so short of God’s glory. And I agree with you that forgiveness is “a process”. I’m thankful for a LORD that not only forgives, but He helps us to forgive so that our joy and peace may be complete. Thank you for visit and comment. ❀
What you’ve written about is the key to healing on many different levels and in many different ways. …And it’s just as important to realize that we ourselves can be forgiven. How thankful & grateful to know that God forgives and heals. He is our example on the “how to” of total forgiveness. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” In light of Easter, which we just celebrated last week, what a wonderful, life-changing truth this is for us today! Thanks, Wendy, for this wonderful reminder! Your photos are beautiful and further speak of God’s love for us.
Daisy, the verse you mentioned is such a pivotal one in the gospel message. Yes, Easter is about the door of forgiveness that Christ has opened for us–“If we confess our sins”. Your comment reminded me that I also have R.T.Kendall’s book: How to Forgive Ourselves Totally. I’ve just dug it out of a cupboard since I’ve yet to read it (blush). God is love. ❀
Love this post Wendy and am, at this very moment, listening to your story on the other blog! <3
<3 Thank you, Diana, ❀
Absolutely Lovely 🙂 Have a Great Day!
Thank you, Morgan. ❀
It is the key to peace of mind Wendy, heading over to your other space now.
Kath, I couldn’t agree more. R.T.Kendall states that the more we’ve had to forgive, the bigger the blessing we’ll receive when we do. ❀
Hi Wendy, here are my favorite forgiveness verses from Matthew 6:14-15: “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Really lays it on the line for me. If I want to be forgiven (and I do need forgiveness), then I too must extend forgiveness.
Lovely flower photos 🙂
Karen, those are perfect verses. He says that vengeance is his job—and never ours. And in the meantime we’re to forgive and pray for them (as I’m sure we’re also being prayed for). Hopefully this will lead to a restoration of their/our relationship with God–before it’s too late. ❀
Beautiful, as always. Surely, “The quality of mercy is not strained. . . .”
Linda, thank you for inspiring me to reread that selection of Shakespeare online. Wonderful. ❀
It’s amazing, isn’t it? One of his best efforts, in my opinion.
Oh I had a mentor years ago who helped me with the forgiveness thing. And it helped me let go of several things I’d held onto for such a long time. Now again I’m struggling not so much with the forgiveness of two people in my life, it’s the forgetting part that’s been hard. One was a lifelong wound that went deep and then was compounded at the end of my mom’s life. Now I keep praying that one day, I’ll be able to forget all the ugliness so that the window to her goodness is clean once more. The other was a betrayal. And betrayal is so hard to put behind you even when you forgive the betrayor. If I were Jesus, I could do it, but my feet are still made of “clay” and it appears to sticky to let go off yet. It’s not unlike the muddy clay in my yard when it rains. It keeps gloming up on my shoes. Love, N 🙂 <3
Natalie, I think we’ll struggle with the stickiness of life until we get our new bodies. <3 Today I was thinking about how Jesus was tempted in every way that we have been. So He must know how painful it can be down here on planet earth.
When the grudge bus opens its doors and invites us inside–we can say no. It's not a sin to be tempted. R.T.Kendall was encouraging in that he shared how hard it was to forgive, and he lets the reader know he's been there and still visits there. Forgiveness is a journey that (I'm finding) lasts a lot longer than many others. But the forgiveness bus takes us through a lovelier part of town than the grudge bus does. ❀ Hugs, dear Twinkie. I know we can do this. Jesus is the driver of the bus we're riding on. xo
Yes, we can! <3 <3 <3
Forgiveness is one of those things that I always need to hear about and always need to do. I think I heard one time that forgiveness is a lifestyle. :). I want it to be my lifestyle! My word for the year is mercy and the verse He gave me is to do justly, to LOVE MERCY, and walk humbly with my God. Praying to love mercy, to love forgiveness. God bless you and thanks!
I need reminders too, Debbie. I tend to read over a book several times to make sure its sinking into my heart. Mercy is an excellent word to walk by. I’m so glad we’re loved by a God of mercy. Hugs. ❀
Forgiveness…I tend to give it freely to most except myself. I try but struggle to look beyond any of my past mistakes that has altered my present and future. It’s a work in progress and I’m praying through it. Thank you for the reminder.
I find forgiving my own parenting mistakes the hardest things to forgive. And yet my children are so quick to accept my apologies. I now understand why God tells us to be like little children–they don’t hold grudges as easily as adults do. Thank you for your visit and comment. ❀
Love your writing and photography so much!
Thank you, Jane. I love how God sends us encouragement right when we need it the most. ❀
Beautiful, Wendy. I have a person in my life who holds a grudge against me … from when I was a teenager. It’s really difficult. Forgiveness is a beautiful thing.
Shelli, it’s hard to know someone holds bitterness against us–it hurts. And yet our perfect God “removes our transgressions from us, as far as the east is from the west”. We can only do our part. <3 Hugs, beautiful friend. I sometimes wonder about some of the chaos I left behind me in my youth… ❀ But God remembers it no more.
Hi, Wendy. I’ve been following your blog for a while and wanted to say I love your flower photos, as well as the lovely photos of your home. What a special place.
Thank you, Valorie. A garden, a book, and a cup of tea are a magical threesome at my place in the summer. And of course I try to keep my camera with me–just in case. ❀ I appreciate your kind visit.
Hi Wendy, This comes at a time when I really needed a gentle word about forgiveness, with respect to a couple of ongoing situations in my life. Sometimes I succumb to the illusion that if I’ve forgiven, it’s done–when in truth my need to forgive is ongoing. Thank you for the balance of beauty and wisdom in this post. Your photographs are lovely!
Thank you, Vivian. I agree that forgiveness is an ongoing event. According to R.T.Kendall, we are blessed in proportion to what we have forgiven. (I just peeked at your blog and I can’t wait to see your latest posts.) ❀
Your post is spot on again, Wendy. When someone doesn’t forgive they are only hurting themselves.
Thank you, Tracy. ❀ Yes, we also miss the extra blessing when we don’t extend the same forgiveness we, ourselves, have received. Blessings on your weekend.
I just love these early crocus pics…perfect combination of encouragement and beauty! Blessings, sweet friend! ~Zoey
Thank you, dear Zoey. Spring is my favorite season. Blessings on your week. ❀
Forgiveness is a simple word isn’t it but very complex and it sure takes some learning about. But your expression “giving up any right to pay the person back” is exactly how I have come to believe its meaning. And yet – how difficult it is when you feel so so angry at having been unjustly treated… I think I have to go through re-learning it again every time something new happens. I wish forgiveness just came completely naturally; maybe with practice… And yet don’t we all want to be forgiven? 😊
Christine, you’ve said this so well. This past weekend I needed to remember this post as I came face to face with the need to forgive a stranger. And I felt blessed and comforted as I chose to let the hurt go. <3 By the way, I'm enjoying your poetry book. ❀
Oh that’s great Wendy! Thank you for buying it. I’m pleased you are enjoying it! x
Oh yes, don’t we all encounter difficult people that may be hurtful to us and require forgiveness. When I experience this I always fall back on my favourite saying from Mother Teresa, “There goes God in another of his distressing disguises.” When we adopt this viewpoint even the need for forgiveness falls away and we see the situation instead as a lesson in love that we must practice.
Mary, I love that quote. I’ve always loved what Joseph said to his brothers: What you intended for harm God used for good (my paraphrase). Many people were saved because of the injustice and cruelty that Joseph suffered–just like what happened to Jesus. ❀
as always your words and pictures are inspiring and uplifting!
Thank you, Freya. ❀
Such a great message, Wendy, and beautiful pictures too. I’ve discovered the key to total forgiveness is, as you said, to pray blessings on the one who has hurt you. It’s really difficult at first, but over time it gets much easier.
Thank you, Bill. It’s so true that nothing softens our hearts more towards someone than praying for them. It’s godly love in action–even if keeping a safe distance is necessary–one can still send up prayers. ❀
A beautiful message Wendy…which we all need…
Thank you, Sriram. I need regular reminders of it. ❀ Blessings on your weekend.