Admiration shone from her eyes
blinding him to his own imperfections
so that he was empowered to climb
the mountain of their love
and shout from the summit
his devotion to the one
Wendy ❀ 2015
Over the years I’ve listened to a lot of Christian radio broadcasts
about family life and marriage.
When I hear a quote that especially speaks to me,
I like to write it down on a piece of paper and memorize it.
One day I wrote down three magic words: admire, appreciate, and accept.
I’ve memorized these words.
I needed to.
I wanted to gift these verbs to my husband
through my actions.
Years ago we hit a dry spell in our marriage
while our lives were busy parenting 3 children 5 yrs and under.
Let’s face it–nobody marries someone else unless they see
some reasonable semblance of these three magical words.
acceptance ~ admiration ~ appreciation
And after they’re married these actions are more important than ever
(yes, this applies to both partners).
Spouses may stray or be tempted to stray if these are missing at home
(no it’s not a valid excuse for emotional or physical adultery).
There’s nothing more irresistible to a man
than a woman who’s in love with him.
~ the Baroness in The Sound of Music
It’s my job to love and respect Billy;
it’s God’s job to make him good.
~ Ruth Bell Graham
Now it’s your turn to tell me about a great marriage book,
marriage blog or marriage quote.
I love romantic happy endings.
Dare to share in the comments?
Irresistible Blessings ~ Wendy ❀
A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown,
but a disgraceful wife is like decay to his bones.
Husbands, love your wives
and do not be harsh with them.
57 thoughts on “The Irresistible Truth of How to Win Your Man (and keep him)”
They are wise words to remember. 🙂
Imelda, I cherish advice from those who’ve gone before us. There’s so much wisdom in the older generations. ❀
Mary and I have only been married for 30 years so we’re still trying to figure it out 🙂
Great post, Wendy. I especially like this line: “Irresistible Admiration shone from her eyes blinding him to his own imperfections so that he was empowered to climb the mountain…” I paused to think about that and it’s SO true and very profound.
Thank you, Bill. I’m glad you caught that. So many people have accomplished goals they never thought they could because someone believed in them. But of course the best motivation of all is that ‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phil. 4:13’ We tend to focus on our flaws; love believes. ❀ Yay for you and Mary on 30 yrs.
Wendy, this is such a lovely truth to remember, something I am striving for in this my second chance at married life, and ever so grateful to experience so much from in a very loving and giving husband. By the way, love The Sound of Music quote! Always been one of my favorites.:)
Marisa, this advice is for couples (like you two) that have basic goodwill. Sadly there are spouses who need the shakeup of a separation or a divorce because they are so ill-willed. I’m thankful to be married to a good-willed man too. ❀
Encouraging words Wendy. I often hear that the divorce rate is high among families with multiple children. The pressures of care taking and making it through the day can get overwhelming. This was a refreshing read.
Thank you, Bupe Rose. I remember a Focus on the Family broadcast that suggested it was better to spend money on making memories (such as going on a date) than buying new drapes or furniture. Babysitters cost–but it’s cheaper than a divorce (I took the baby with us because of breastfeeding). Sometimes we’d set up a movie and popcorn night at home when we couldn’t afford to go out–or we’d take a thermos of tea or hot chocolate to a nearby beach. The trick is to find out what works and keep doing it. Blessings on your family. ❀
Oh thanks for sharing these tips. I guess the key is to make an effort and keep it simple so that intimacy/connection is more accessible.
We have three teens now, and so it’s easy to get out together. But we find that we need to get up early to have ‘time alone’ at home. And our teens know that the first ten minutes my husband and I spend in the den each evening is our time to be with just each other so we can debrief from the day. The best thing we can do for our kids is to love each other first and well. I’m praying that my kids will have strong marriages, too, when their turn comes. You’re so right about ‘making the effort and keeping it simple.’
Is raising teens as scary as they say? It’s wonderful that you’re modelling a strong healthy marriage for your kids.
Bupe, I think the secret to raising teens as fearlessly as possible is to stay close to the Lord. And it helps to have a godly friend who has already been there. A close friend that I’ve had since childhood not only prays for me and my family, but she assures me that I’m on the right track. I’ve watched her over the years, and her example of grace and not sweating the small stuff has taught me much. There’s a lot of love, laughter, and learning mixed in with the scary moments of raising teens. ❀ God is good.
These are beautiful words of truth! I love being in love with my husband, and I am very blessed. I think in addition to the three words, accept, appreciate, admire, we could add respect. Or maybe it is that out of those three words comes respect 🙂
I especially liked the quote by Ruth Graham – she was a very wise woman 🙂
Thanks for sharing and encouraging me with these words!
Becky, respect is to men what love is to women. Your husband is very blessed to have a wife who understands this. I noticed a huge difference in my husband’s demonstration of love when I began to earnestly practice respect after having read the book, Love & Respect by Emerson Eggerichs. It’s my favorite marriage book ever. ❀
What about feeding the young ones with appropriate media?
Yoshiko, you are wise to suggest that our choice of media is important as children or adults. ❀
Thanks. I am just speaking from my experiences.
Not just couples. Children too.
Wendy I love these three words and will keep them close. I guess when I look at marriage I read a quote somewhere that said
Love is not just looking at each other, it’s looking in the same direction.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery, Wind, Sand and Stars, 1939
That way we keep connected and have the same goals and wishes for our partnership. Thanks for inspiring me with three simple words and of course your beautiful photos.
Thank you, Kath. And I really like the quote that you included.
Having a shared goal or adventure is ideal since men typically prefer side-by-side activities over staring into each other’s eyes for too long. So it’s good if we mix it up with both. ❀
Inspiring words and magnificient photography.
Thank you, dear Marylou. ❀
Truly a wonderful, inspiring post, Wendy! I love it! Truly! Thank you!
Thank you, Robyn. It blesses me to hear that it was inspiring. ❀
Wonderful post, Wendy. And yes, all marriages have rocky places, but somehow many of us make it through them! Hugs, Natalie 🙂 <3
Natalie, those rocky parts of the marriage climb strengthen the heart and the bond. Thank you, dear friend. ❀ Hugs <3
Because of the nature of my husband’s work, we spent more time apart than together in the first 15 years of our marriage. These last 15 years of my husband’s retirement, we have hardly spent anytime apart. Acceptance and compromise seem to have come naturally, but I have to say my husband is the one who excels at appreciation. I don’t know of any particular book on marriage but enjoyed all of Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s diaries. And I greatly admire the Queen and Prince Philip’s relationship.
I’ve always treasured Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s book,: Gift from the Sea. And when I think of the Queen and Prince Philip, mutual respect comes to mind. She is such an elegant and purposeful lady.
I wish Princess Diana had lived long enough to see her grandson. ❀ I remember seeing her visit my hometown (even from a distance she was beautiful). She is my favorite of the royal family (and the Queen Mother). ❀
Gift from the Sea is one of my favourites. 🙂
We have hit dry spells in our marriage, one so dry that I wondered if we could carry on. But we stuck with it and those verbs now mean so much more than they ever did before. xx
Christine, I remember a survey that followed a group of couples and found that five years after a rough spell the ones that had stuck it out were happier than ever. Sadly some couples miss out on the blessing due to a lack of commitment.
But some couples really shouldn’t stay together because of emotional or physical abuse. ❀ I love your happy ending comment. <3
This is beautiful, Wendy. We’ve gone through those dry seasons, too. I think we all face it. But, like you said, we have to keep those verbs in play … follow through in obedience, and trust God to allow our hearts to follow, too. I love those verbs. xoxo
Shelli, I love how you worded that: keep those verbs in play… <3
God wants to bless us, That's what I keep finding out. We need to stick to something long enough to receive the gifts, whether it's marriage or our writing journey. ❀
What it really boils down to is respect and appreciation. This is what every individual needs or they will become bitter, or wither and die. Paul and I had our bumps at the beginning of our relationship, mostly due to my painful baggage and fear of trusting another man. Thankfully, our marriage has been mostly smooth sailing ever since. I love happy endings too, Wendy. 🙂
Great post! x
Jennifer, I agree that it “…boils down to…respect and appreciation.” These are necessary in all relationships. I can relate to the “fear of trusting.” Our childhood experiences can affect our trust factor. ❀
I’m blessed to be married to someone who isn’t perfect–but is perfect for me (and vice versa for me to him). By the way, I think you and Paul make a beautiful couple. I really enjoyed the post you did awhile back about your love story. Yes, happy endings are the best. <3
And welcome to my Facebook. 😊
Jennifer, thank you for accepting my friend request. <3 I'm enjoying getting to know my writer friends better. ❀
Wendy, this is so well-written that I can’t think of a single thing to add to it. I do quite a bit of marital counseling. I love Ruth Graham’s quote : It’s her job to love Billy, God’s job to make him good. If there’s one principle I could tattoo on every married person’s heart, it would be “Changing him/her is not my job. It’s God’s.”
Thank you, Linda. What an honor to get a compliment from a marriage counselor. By the way, great tattoo idea you have. ❀ It must be so rewarding to see people who finally ‘get it’ at counseling. I’ve had a few aha moments listening to the radio or reading a book–always a good thing.
I could sit for hours with the Lord there at the edge of that forest overlooking the lake or bay…that’s all I know.
And sometimes that’s exactly the sort-of-way my husband and I like to spend a couple of hours on a Sunday afternoon. Thanks for making me smile, Brad. Blessings on your weekend. ❀
Wendy, your three verbs are crucial to ensure a happy marriage. Thank you for sharing your wise words of wisdom. 🙂
Thank you, dear Tracy. I’m thankful for those who have taught me through books and radio over the years. ❀ I’m still learning.
This one. I did need this one, Wendy.
Thank you for following His lead. ❤️
Thank you, dear Heather. <3 I know I love reminders of the way I should go. ❀
These three little words carry such deep resonance on how to express and renew love. Like everything in life we must both work individually and collectively to protect our relationship in marriage, to nurture it and to keep it thriving and growing. Talk, laugh and spend time together in a close bond of affection. At the end of the day – love is all there is. Enjoy a blessed and happy Easter.
Mary, I’m so glad you mentioned laughing together. It’s definitely one of the keys to “a close bond of affection.” And I agree wholeheartedly that “At the end of the day–love is all there is.” I’m so glad for the love of God, family, and friends. Blessings on your Easter weekend. ❀
Beautiful, Wendy. Thank you for this.
Thank you, dear Cynthia. ❀
I THINK MY WIFE KNOWS…!
I’m glad to hear that, Jonathan. I love happy ever after endings. Thank you for the re-blog. ❀
Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
ISN’T EASY, THESE DAYS!!!!
Give without counting the cost. <3 Lovely post, Wendy ~~~~~~~
Thank you, Angie. ❀ Jesus certainly set the perfect example of this kind of love. <3