Sad news I recently read reminded me of a revelation I wrote in my journal this month. It also reminded me of something from my past that even my family of origin doesn’t know about. As grief’s words appeared on my computer screen, a pang of pain pierced my heart. Yes, I’ve been where both the writer and the one written about have been. I’ve been at the bottom of a hopeless pit that wanted to snuff out the last breath of hope barely flickering in my veins.

I’ve been there.

I’ve also been the one to hear the awful news that someone close to me had taken his own life. And I still recall the last time I saw a friend before he took his life a few days after I saw him. I’ve always wondered if I’d stopped that day instead of waving hello as I drove by, would something I said or a hug I gave have staved off his despair from ending it all so soon.

No, I doubt it.

Those who are serious about suicide are often secretive about it. At least I was. I’ve been there. I understand how easy it is to give up on life and give into death. Without hope we’re hopeless to survive depression, despair, or their evil cousin, loneliness. I know because I’ve written the note and readied the rope. But by the good grace of God I backed out of ending my life way-back-when because my fear of death overrode my fear of living without hope.

 

COVID provides the perfect conditions for suicidal ideation.

I suspect those who were barely hanging on to hope before the epidemic are now grasping shredded ropes threatening to snap any second.

If I can offer a thread of hope to a listener who is in the dark place I’ve described, it is this: tie a knot using any of the verses in today’s post and hang on. And believe God loves you too much not to hear your hurting heart.

 

Each time now when despair rears it’s ugly lying head in my life, I grab onto the knots I’ve tied through memorization and through notations in my journal, and I fight back with tears. I allow myself to feel the depths of sad instead of despairing about how bad I feel. I allow the hardness of life to press me into the softness of His hands.

 

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 NIV

Did you hear and notice that beautiful five letter word?

• C. L. O. S. E.
• Close.
• God is close.
• God is close to us when we’re broken and at the bottom of ourselves.

And now I’d like to share a special-to-me sentence—a revelation—I composed and wrote in my journal: The gift of suffering is God’s amplified Presence.

 

The COVID season provides a perfect opportunity for deeper intimacy with God.

Trials aren’t meant to drive us into suicidal ideation; they’re meant to drive us into the arms of the God of creation.

Psalm 34 is full of hope. Let’s look at verse 18 again:

 

 

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 NIV

 

• God is close.
• God is a hope giver.
• God is a spirit saver.
• God longs to lift the brokenhearted.
• He can’t help those who don’t or won’t lean into Him.

The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry. Psalm 34:15 NIV

 

• God listens.
• God longs to hear us cry out to Him for help in our time of need.

 

The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. Psalm 34:17 NIV

 

Our deliverance from despair is only a call to Christ away. We may or may not be delivered from our trials as soon as we’d hoped, but we will be given His hope to hang on to in the meantime.

 

The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them. Psalm 34:7 NIV

 

 

I like the idea of the angel of the LORD surrounding us with His protective Presence.

 

Dear friends, it’s not just a lovely sounding idea, it’s a present reality that began the moment we repented and trusted in Jesus Christ. The lying serpent slithers across the earth searching for souls to poison with his lies that God doesn’t really care about us. However, we have a Savior who spread His arms wide on a cross to tell us we can trust Jesus to not only save us from our sins, but His Spirit enters each one who believes on Him.

 

• We’re loved.
• We’re listened to.
• We’re longed for.
• And we’re saved and surrounded by the Lord Himself.

Verse 5 tells us something else we also are: Radiant.

 

 

Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. Psalm 34:5 NIV

 

God knows we’re made of dust. That’s why He wants to shower us with His grace when we trust. And when we look to Him, we’ll glow so others will know there’s a source of hope available for them too. Even if the glow is faint, we’re still counted as His saints. Don’t let your down times become a source of shame. God doesn’t wag His finger at you; He’s waving welcoming arms in the hopes you’ll run into them for His comfort.

Hang in there, dear child of God, He’s encamped around you yesterday, today, and tomorrow. And if you’re struggling with thoughts of suicide, be sure to let a trusted friend, family member, or a crisis line worker know you need some extra help right now (Or email me a private prayer request at purselanestudio@gmail.com ). God can create a miracle out of dust, through dust, and in dust—us.

 

And now I’d like to close with a poem:

The Lord saw me at the bottom
Of a pit that was too deep
For me to climb out of on my own
And so He rescued me

~

The Lord heard me weeping
At the bottom of my despair
And so He took me by the hand
To show me that He cares.
~ wlm

 

I’m nosy-to-know of any blues busters Bible verses you recommend? 

 

Revelation Blessings ~ Wendy Mac