It’s been a hotter summer than we’re used to here on the West Coast of Canada. So I have not been walking about our neighborhood much; as I’ve stayed cool under our canopy of trees.
Sunday evening it began to rain. I popped my head out of the door and inhaled a cool and delicious breath of summer air spiced with rain. I asked the one I love if he felt like taking a walk in the rain with me.
He said, “Yes.” On went our rain coats and off we went. I grabbed my little camera and left the better one at home since there wouldn’t be much to shoot.
But surprises happen when you least expect them. That’s why they are called surprises. Our handsome first-born and lovely third-born fall into this wonderful category. The middle child we specifically put our order in for.
Although the photos are rather grainy – I think, perhaps, it turned out better this way. It captures the mood of the evening. A farewell to summer? Goodbyes tend to have a melancholy air.
I think it turned out better that we had our children later in life than we had planned. When I was younger I sweated the small stuff way too much.
Five years ago, this month, my brother lost his only child. She would have been 21 this autumn. It hurts so much just to remember. I can’t even comprehend his level of pain… but I do trust that she is in God’s hands.
My niece is not here; but she helps me to love my children more deeply and to not sweat the small stuff. I don’t take my children for granted. My brother was an awesome dad. He loved her deeply.
Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13
My brother would have gladly lay down his life for his daughter.
A gift is free. It takes a bit of trust to open a gift. If we receive the gift it is then truly our own. Authentic gifts are not revoked – but I guess we do have a choice to reject the gift or not…
I was really tempted to lash out at God when my only niece died. The awful phone-call came while I was working on a new rock garden. I shouted out in agony.
But I have had awful news before and I have also temporarily abandoned God before. I have no interest in repeating that scenario!
So, within moments, I made a choice to trust Him no matter what. “Lord, I choose to trust you with my niece regardless of my emotions.”
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
John 14:27
It hurts still, but I spell peace with the word trust… I have had a few more phone calls since that one. They tend to happen a little more as you age…
But I am learning more and more to rely on Jesus; even though He is not visible to my eyes.
One day I will arrive at Heaven’s gate – not because I walked perfectly: But because I chose to trust Him and opened the free gift He offered.
Life is full of surprises, both sad and joyful. When it’s time to hang up my coat, I’ll be heading to the best of the best of surprises. I really want to see you there… meantime let’s walk in the rain, capture rainbows and savor sunsets with the ones we love.
~ Love Wendy
You have made known to me the path of life;
You will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
Psalm 16:11
Thank you for sharing your beautiful posts. I have nominated you for the Beautiful Blogger Award. Please check my post to accept the award.
http://lightinthechaos.wordpress.com/2012/08/30/beautiful-blogger-award/
Thank you, Val, I am honored that you have nominated me. I am a bit slow at this but I will try to get to it soon. Hugs ~ Wendy
Your beautiful article touches my heart and your trust In God encourages me on my own journey. Beautiful photographs, too. I love your quote: “Our world is brightened or darkened by our own behavior toward trials, not by the trial itself.” Pure wisdom! I would like to use it on my blog, if that’s Ok with you. Thank you. You’ve given me a lovely start to my day. Blessings always. xx
Thank you for your kind words. I felt a little vulnerable sharing so deeply from my heart. Sometimes when I write I go places I was not expecting… The quote was from an old journal of mine. Usually I write down the author’s name but this time I didn’t. Perhaps it was anonymous? You are more than welcome to use it. I have little papers all over the place with quotes on them that have captured my heart.
Hugs ~ Wendy
Thank you for sharing from your heart, and for the use of the quote. Blessings from Lizzie Joy
Beautiful, Wendy, both the words and pictures. Thanks for sharing your heart so openly and encouraging me as I struggle with a heart issue.
Thank you for your encouragement, Valerie. I am blessed if I can encourage others too. It’s ironic how the things that are hardest to share seem to bless others the most.
~ Wendy
What a beautiful post, Wendy. Powerful Scriptures shared with a heart-wrenching story. We all have “crisis of faith”, and it’s not easy to continue trusting, but that’s what faith & trust are all about… If it were easy it wouldn’t be faith, it’d be sight… and as the Scriptures tell us, “we walk by faith, not by sight.” I was so blessed by your application of the verses to your circumstances. The hardest trial in life is when we lose a loved one…especially when they’re so young. Only the strong arms of our Heavenly Father can carry us through those times. I, too, was tempted to “abandon God” when grief was so great, I didn’t think I could go on. But He was so patient with me. Let us run to Him, instead of running away from Him! God bless, and thank you for sharing such a personal story!
Thank you! I learn the hard way – but I learn…
~ Wendy
This was a true blessing to me today. Seeing the pictures, remembering the Scripture, reading your story and insights, all came at a good time. I had the privilege of praying over the phone with my dear husband yesterday, as he had had a difficult encounter with a patient, and was feeling overwhelmed and unmotivated in his day’s work. Your comment about trusting God no matter your emotions was what I tried to tell him…he has been called to this role, given these gifts, not by accident. God allows him to be a blessing to his patients, but there are many joyless, thankless, seemingly hopeless days when a surgery doesn’t go well, or he has to deliver bad news, or a fellow physician dumps a challenging case on his lap. Obedience to God isn’t always cheerful (and I know I’m rambling now), but I prayed for him to remember truths about God’s strength being made perfect in our weakness…about humbly asking for grace daily or hourly…and I am so glad I could call upon my own hours of desperate need to encourage him–pray, give thanks, trust, press on. This is the side of medicine that many don’t consider. Anyhow, your post today truly blessed me. I’m glad you took that walk.
You sound like such a blessing to your husband. His patients are blessed, too, to have a doctor with a praying wife. One of my closest friends is a GP and she is a humble follower of Christ and an awesome doctor. She used to be mine when we lived in the same town. It is not an easy profession. I am so glad that my words were used to bless you. Writing is a risky affair sometimes… but I am who I am. Thanks or your visit!
~ Wendy
Such well-written words that all I can say is thank you for reminding us of God’s light even in the dark times.
Thank you. He has been faithful even when I am not full of faith. ~ Wendy
Wendy what a wonderful evening walk in the rain for the two of you, your photography is beautiful, your narrative made me feel I was right there with you enjoying the peace and serenity of the evening. Loss is so very hard, I know. God is always with us, even when we are not with him, he is still always there. A lovely post. Thank you, Penny
Thank you Penny. I know that you have experienced loss too. The memory of it can show up at the least expected moment. It’s nice that it mellows out so that the tears become rare and the emotions less raw. Joy returns! That is what our loved ones would want.
~ Wendy
true words wendy, in the time just after the loss it is so very hard (and it is so easy to go to a life is unfair place) but those who are in a better place definitely would have wanted us to continue on and be happy. Thank you, sending hugs your way, Penny xxx